Saturday, 15 February 2014

You Could Have Been So Much Better

Ok, forget I ever said anything good about Billy Ray Cyrus.

Buck 22 - Achey Breaky 2 feat. Billy Ray Cyrus

I just... that's a lot of twerking. I mean... his daughter's kind of infamous for attempting twerking, so he goes and appears in a video where it features prominently. Done by women even more scantily clad than his daughter! That's disturbing. The rapping (done by Buck 22, who seems like a relative unknown) is godawful... Rhyming "Cyrus" and "silence"? "It happened cause I'd rather be lucky, than good" yes, this is apparent.

To counterbalance this godawfulness, I'm going to partially exonerate my old nemesis... Paul McCartney. It's true that most of the stuff he did after the Beatles was crap. Except for possibly Live And Let Die, and that 1/8th of Band on the Run that rocks. Incidentally, I did a remix of it for my friend Neil that cuts out most of the rest of the song:

Right so, none of this completely excuses McCartney's general horribleness (especially Freedom and Wonderful Christmastime, which is now stuck in your head). But look at what happens when he decides to forget about trying to sound marketable and does some weird shit instead. No idea why more people don't know about his album McCartney II.

*Puts on hipster glasses*... you've probably never even heard of it.

Paul McCartney - Check My Machine

McCartney retired to a small cottage in Scotland to create the album, and wrote this song first, to test his equipment. This was after being kicked out of Japan (again) for carrying weed in his luggage. You'd think after years of being denied entry, he'd have learned to be careful, but no, not Paul.

Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

I am amused by this parody of an American accent. It puts me in mind of that quote by P.G. Wodehouse: "As a rule, from what I've observed, the American captain of industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a captain of industry again."

Paul McCartney - Bogey Music

Aha! It's like "boogie music," but with "bogeys" (boogers for you Americans) instead. The lyrics are not especially imaginative: "All you little bogeys, I want you to sing along / Clean your bogey act up and learn the bogey song." Not sure if it's actually referring to dried nose mucus.

Paul McCartney - Secret Friend


So, as you can see, he should have left making bland Starbucks pop shite and just gone off to continue to do his own weird thing.

Paul McCartney - Bland Starbucks Pop Shite (Dance Tonight)

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