Thursday, 12 April 2012

THOR

Today on Malbona Muziko: THOR. "The Legendary Rock Warrior."



THOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Anger


THOR, which is the name of the band and the singer's last name (did he change it? That's kind of badass), started life as "Thor and the Imps," then became simply "Thor." In 2001 they appear to have been called "Thor and the Ass Boys." I think that was a mistake.

Keep The Dogs Away


His music's not horrible. I'd call it mediocre. But with the look, and the name... you can't be less than earth-shakingly amazing or you've overreached yourself. "All mouth and no trousers," is the saying. And somehow, THOR just doesn't... he just doesn't... He's NOT METAL ENOUGH. His soul was not forged in the deepest hell-depths of Muspelheim. Even √ěrymr wouldn't mistake him for the goddess Freyja. I don't think those armlet spikes are real. This next song isn't even metal.

Catch A Tiger


Knock Them Down


I bet that's exactly what the Norse were thinking of when they told their myths and legends around a blazing village. A blonde body-builder in black leather showing off his chest hair. I wonder who came first, him or He-man? (checks) Oh... it was this guy. I think somebody's stolen your style, THOR.

Here he is, BENDING A METAL BAR WITH HIS TEETH. (And of course his hands, as well. He's not actually a god...)



And if you want to see all his party tricks, here they are.

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