Thursday, 20 December 2012


This time of year is well-known for producing musical horrors. It seems that in their quest to find the holiday spirit guaranteed to make people pile their shopping carts ever higher (sometimes causing casualties in the process), shopping centres and radio DJs will stop at nothing. Nothing. Nothiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Darth Vader moment over. Here are some songs that you can put on if you really want people to leave.

Monday, 15 October 2012

Too Precious

Finally got round to posting again... and this post is dedicated to disgustingly sweet children singing disgustingly sweet children's songs.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Sunday, 19 August 2012


Luv' (and yes, there's an apostrophe there for some reason) was a Dutch girl group in the late '70s and earl '80s. I think you'll quickly see why they were popular:

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Merrie England

This post is dedicated to a few middle-aged Englishmen who should never have had musical careers, in honour of the Scottish Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, especially Brother Bimbo, who encouraged me to continue posting by (verbally) chastising me outside a pub. It's nice to know someone believes in what I'm doing... sigh... I think half of these were brought to my attention by Sir Vile Ann, aka Neil. This is not much of a surprise. There is no actual singing involved.

Friday, 18 May 2012

Lesbian Seagull

Since Englebert Humperdinck is representing Britain in the Eurovision song contest, more people than ever are talking about this song, requesting it from DJs, etc.:

It's no surprise to learn that it was commissioned for a segment in Beavis and Butthead Do America. Yes, that really is Englebert Humperdinck. Whose name only makes me think of that clip from Princess Bride. Thanks to Ror for sharing this song... I think.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012


Hello, if you read this blog (you probably don't) you may have noticed that I haven't updated in a while... I've decided that, as important as the mission of bringing to light strange and terrible music is, I have other things to focus on. So I'll probably update this from time to time... I'd recommend coming back every three months or so. :) Thanks for the good times!

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Crazy Drummers

Left my files on another computer... so here's a survey of two drummers who should have been with other bands.

Thursday, 19 April 2012

The Village People

I know what you're thinking. The Village people were great. Everything they did was perfect--surely they could do no wrong.


Well, you'll just have to read further then, won't you. I'm not going to read it for you. Jeez.

Sunday, 15 April 2012


So I thought I would do a post on Babymetal, the Japanese heavy metal band fronted by 12 and 13-year-old girls. There's already a few blog posts about them, so to avoid cluttering up the internetz, I thought I'd just link to someone else.

However, what that blog doesn't have is all the videos of them I could find on Youtube! So scroll down for more.

Thursday, 12 April 2012


Today on Malbona Muziko: THOR. "The Legendary Rock Warrior."


Sunday, 8 April 2012


As promised, here are the impromptu--and more promptu--musicians of the other biggest party in the US. Unfortunately, this party doesn't seem as prone to embarrassing itself musically. President Obama, of course, has a voice like silk. But there are still unfortunate examples out there. In fact, of the other ones I could find, two of them are Clintons, and one of them is an elf. But he's an elf I like.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012


Oh, forgot this whole scheduling thing. If I wanna post on a Tuesday instead of a Sunday, I'm gonna go right ahead.

Today's post is about people who don't follow the rules. The mavericks and cowboys of American politics, they go charging into wars on made-up evidence, claiming to be the party of conservative spending while racking up huge debts, claiming to be the party of morality while refusing universal healthcare, high speed rail, equal marriage and oh god, who knows what else to their constituents. That's how hardcore they are. Wow. How could a party whose first president was Abraham Lincoln have gone so wrong?

A few of them have tried making music.

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Hog For You

Been busy all day, so no post today. I will post tomorrow instead. Hmm, which one? Which one?

If you have a recommendation for a piece of strange or horrible music, please send me the name at rarely if ever at gmail dot com. It has to be a somewhat well known band/musician, not just somebody you hate.

Oh all right. Here's a video:

Sunday, 25 March 2012

The Wanted

Hello all, as I have spent the last seven hours being an extra in a Bollywood film (which is definitely not called London Ishq), I don't have much energy to devote to this post. Sorry. But I thought I'd follow on from the last post to show you an example of the latest in a) bad music and b) the dreamboat face. These guys are the masters of the dreamboat face. I give you an ultimate example of why British pop is so bad... (you think Americans have no taste, and yet you still listen to boy bands over here.)

Whiny, young, and shallow: it's The Wanted.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Loco Mia

Hello, today's blog post wouldn't have been nearly as excellent without my sister Alex reminding me of the existence of this band...

The one, the only, Loco Mia.

At least they're the only glam fan-wielding Spanish disco pop band I know of.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Wesley Willis

All hail the memory of Wesley Willis. Most Americans have probably heard of him at some point or other. A paranoid schizophrenic, he describes his hallucinations as "hell rides," as opposed to his "joy ride music." He wrote hundreds of songs and also produced colorful pictures using colored pens. Here are some examples. His music and his art are both centred around Chicago, where he lived.

Here are a few of his songs. I'll let them speak for themselves.

Friday, 16 March 2012

More Star Trek

I think this will be the last of the Star Trek videos, at least for now. Apologies for my procrastination, you who eagerly await my updates. These are from Star Trek: Next Generation. Some of these videos may not have any actual connection to actual Star Trek, other than containing references to characters. But they amuse me, still. (Disclaimer: most of this is actually Patrick Stuart, who has quite a good singing voice, actually.)

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Leonard Nimoy

Leonard Nimoy. Style victim of the late 60's/early 70's and geek hero. You know what that means: A whole lot of heavy machinery and bad hair. I wonder if he has ever resented that pointy haircut, after having worn it for what seems like most of his life. But one must make sacrifices for posterity! And who doesn't remember good old Leonard Nimoy? (Spock, in case you haven't heard his actual name before.)

Thursday, 8 March 2012

William Shatner

I can't claim to be a true Star Trek fan, having only watched the occasional episode and that movie by Leonard Nimoy in which they save the whales. (I may also have read one or two of the associated novels. ahem. ) I can claim to be a fan of the associated music involved. In this post, I will start with the most well known of the musical Trekkers: William Shatner. Or, as I like to call him, "The Shat."

Sunday, 4 March 2012

The Shaggs

Some people might think that this blog is a little bit mean. That makes me sad. I'm not trying to be mean, so that's why I've decided to change the subtitle of this blog from purely "bad music" to "strange and sometimes horrible music." I'm celebrating human eccentricity. Individuality isn't a bad thing! At least it's better than X-Factor. Though of course everyone has different tastes... For example, the band I'm showcasing today was once named by Frank Zappa as his number three best band of all time in a Norwegian newspaper, and better than the Beatles. (Then again, it was Frank Zappa.)

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Jan Terri

Jan Terri was born Jan Spagnolia, and things only got funnier from there.

She's opened for Marilyn Manson, presumably he thought she was funny. And it's true that the riffs in some of her songs are all right and even almost rocking. But god is it spoiled by her voice and lyrics. Oh, and the videos! The videos!

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Hulk Hogan

Another big contender in the world of bad music production for you today: Hulk Hogan. With his glowing blonde handlebar moustache and his long wavy hair, he's an icon. Who could forget Mr. Nanny?

Anyway, he also made some music.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Tony Hawks and Norman Wisdom

Hello, and welcome to my blog on music. Not just any music, the music tthat makes you shudder, clap your hands over your ears and wish for it to stop. This... is that music.

We're starting off with a heavy hitter in the person of Tony Hawks, who has had two hits in his lifetime, both of which were crimes against musicality.